Further Testing

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The last few weeks have gone by in a blur. I had my first visit with my OB’s office about two weeks ago. Their practice houses four doctors, and even if you know who you want to see, you have to see each of the Dr’s at least once. I met with a perfectly nice Dr, but he didn’t know anything about my clotting disorder (Factor V Leiden) or the blood thinner I am on, and he had never heard of a Natera test result of “no results”. Also, their ultrasound machine sucked so I didn’t get any new pictures of the babies. I was told to gain between 15-20 lbs total throughout my whole pregnancy, since I’m already considered “obese”. I nodded at that one and tried not to laugh. I haven’t put on any significant weight yet, but I’m growing TWO human beings and I expect that once the weight starts coming, I’m going to have a tough time limiting my weight gain by that much.

The following week Hubby and I drove to LA for our amnio consult. The genetic counselor we met with was nice, and explained everything quite well. Hubby and I had talked this topic over quite a lot in the almost two weeks since we’d gotten our wonky results, and had decided that we would do Amnio of there was no other blood test we could try instead. And, there isn’t another blood test, so we have Amnio scheduled for next week, 10/11. I’m scared, but the risk is very low that anything would go wrong with/after the procedure, so I’m trying to remind myself of that. They suggested one day of bedrest, and to take it easy (no lifting more than 5 lbs) for 5 days after the procedure. So, I’m putting myself on bedrest for 5 days. Better safe than sorry.

After the appointment hubby and I decided to kill time because it was 4:00pm and we knew if we got into traffic it would take just as long to get home as it would if we waiting for 3 hours. So, we went to see a movie, and during the movie my RE called with the results for the other blood test. I had no risk of Trisonomies 13 and 18, but there was an elevated risk of Trisonomy 21. This could be because of my wonky gene or age or any number of things, but all this result told me was that we had made the right decision when we decided to move forward with Amnio. After the movie we got dinner at Cheesecake Factory, and after that traffic had cleared up enough that we made it home in a normal amount of time.

I’ve been surprisingly unemotional about everything. I think I’ve prepped myself for so long that I would do whatever testing was needed if I was able to get pregnant, that I’m… prepared?? for this? I’ve actually found that my emotions have been pretty steady through my pregnancy so far. Other than about my test results, and today when I was talking to my acupuncturist about amnio, I haven’t cried. I’m not sure why I’m not more upset about everything, but I’ll take all the calm I can get.

Oh, so our great weekend staycation that I wrote about, where we went to visit shelter cats and get pie? Well, apparently we brought home a nasty cat cold from the shelter. For the last two weeks our cats have taken turns being sick, and it is so sad and pathetic. It started with Chairman Meow, who was sneezing and lethargic one week after we’d had our visit to the shelter. Two days later Kitten started sneezing and hiding out while he slept. Two days after that Lucky came down with it, and Zoey was the final victim with her symptoms starting a day after Lucky. I feel terrible because we’re the reason they’re sick- we visited other cats. Also, we don’t keep them vaccinated past their first year because their indoor only. Chairman and Kitten are on the mend, while Lucky and Zoey are still in the thick of it. So far they’ve continued to eat and drink at least a little, and no one has lost any weight, so we haven’t decided if we’ll take anyone to the vet. Maybe Lucky if he’s not better tomorrow, just because he’s an older cat.

On 10/02 hubby and I went out to a fancy dinner to celebrate 8 years of marriage. It has most definitely not been easy. Infertility puts a real strain on relationships, but I think we’ve weathered this pretty well together, and there is no one else I’d rather have by my side.

Keep your fingers crossed for a successful amnio, and I’ll try to update while I’m on bedrest.

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I Think I Found the Other Shoe

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During my pregnancy, I’ve often been left feeling like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. I mean, at 13 weeks pregnant- things have been going really well.

  • Betas rose quickly
  • Found out we’re having twins
  • Twins growth has been on track
  • No bleeding or cramping
  • Mild nausea
  • No weight gain
  • Mild fatigue

Last Tuesday we had our appointment with a perinatologist for NT scan. I did not like the dr at all, she was grumpy and blunt, and didn’t listen to me. She asked if I was homozygous or heterozygous for my clotting disorder. I carry two copies of the gene, but I get these terms mixed up, so I told her the wrong thing, and when I later tried to correct myself, she didn’t listen. So, in her report she recommends that I go off of the blood thinners, all because I used the term heterozygous. So, I get to explain that to my OB at my first appointment- which should be fun. She also listed every complication I could have with twins and told me that I had a long road ahead of me. Thanks for nothing. Luckily, I will not be using this practice, so this should be my only appointment with the grumpy dr.

The good news is, right after this I had an appointment with my RE and the results of the NT scan were fine. Nothing concerning for either baby. We also did an ultrasound and the babies were being adorable; Baby B was rubbing his face, and Baby A was moving like crazy. I was sad that this was probably the last time I would be at their office, but am so grateful that I switched to such a wonderful doctor.

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So, that other shoe I mentioned- it has to do with my NIPT results. First, they were delayed because on the forms the drs office forgot to mark twins. We fixed that, and two days later I got my results, which was NO RESULTS!! After panicking and believing that something must be wrong with both babies, I calmed myself down a bit. Maybe it had to do with my weight? Or blood thinners? I decided to talk to the company to see if I could get some answers. So on Friday I talked to their genetic counselor.

It turns out that No Results has nothing to do with any factors such as weight or medications. In fact, they could’t even get to the point in testing where those things could become an issue because they could not get enough information from my sample. However, they do not recommend a retest because they will likely get the same results. There are a few reasons that this could happen

  • There is too much similarity between the maternal and fetal DNA
  • There is an issue with the maternal DNA
  • Babies are Mosaic
  • Babies have something going on that is outside the scope

Since both babies seem to be growing on track and the NT came back normal, for now I’m running under the assumption that it must be an issue with my chromosomes. Specifically, my inverted 21st chromosome. However, this is not enough reassurance for me so we’re running another blood test with a different company, and have already scheduled a consult for Amnio at one of the best hospitals in CA at my REs suggestion. Hopefully we won’t need to do Amnio because it scares the living daylights out of me, but I can’t handle the idea of not doing further testing, and finding out when it’s too late that one of the babies has an issue. So, the other shoe has dropped, and it sucks.

To distract ourselves, Hubby and I had an awesome weekend visiting local towns, eating delicious food, and spending lots of time socializing shelter cats. It helped a bit, but I’m still feeling so lost right now.

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Almost 12 weeks!

It’s been awhile since I last updated, but I feel like there isn’t too much to report. Which is amazing. I cannot believe that my first trimester is almost over, and all I’ve experienced are sore breasts, some tiredness, food (and smell) aversions, and mild nausea. After how difficult my infertility journey has been, I expected it to carry into a pregnancy, and everything going so well has left me feeling like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Last Thursday we had our 10 week ultrasound. Both babies were measuring at 10w5d (I was technically 10w4d, so…perfect). Baby A had a HR of 163, and B had a HR of 175. Baby A wiggled a bunch during the first part of the ultrasound, and while Baby B didn’t move much at first, he made a big show of kicking his legs before the ultrasound was through. We also did the blood work for our genetic test, the Panorama Prenatal Screen.

The PA is the one who did our ultrasound, so unfortunately this ultrasound produced the worst photos to date. You can kind of tell that the babies are equal parts head and body, but that’s about it. We haven’t received the results of our genetic test yet, but I’ve received conflicting information about the tests ability to detect gender in twins from the PA and the company website. The company says that they can tell the gender of each twin. The PA said that it wouldn’t be able to detect if there was one boy or two, just if there was an Y chromosome. All X chromosomes means that the twins are girls. I tend to believe the PA, but I still hope she is wrong because I don’t want to wait longer any longer than I need to in order to find out what we’re having.

I’m refusing to think too much about the genetic portion of the testing, because I don’t want to consider the choice that I know we will make if there is something detected on the blood work, which is confirmed by the nuchal scan, and, if necessary, CVS. The nuchal scan is scheduled for this coming Tuesday, 9/11. Hopefully the fact that both babies are measuring similarly means that they are both healthy and that nothing is wrong.

As I said in the beginning of this post, I have had a pretty easy pregnancy so far. I’ve learned that eating every 3ish hours helps minimize my nausea. If I wait too long to eat, my nausea increases and stays elevated for at least 24 hours. I’ve almost throw up twice while brushing my teeth, so I’ve learned to be careful when preforming this daily task. I’m particularly sensitive to smells which I already hated pre-pregnancy, including rotting citrus and iron. I can hardly stand to eat any sort of nut, and also do not like Mexican food (but Taco Bell is ok) I think because I ate so much of these things early on in my pregnancy. I have days where nothing sounds good to eat, but once I figure out something that doesn’t sound gross, I absolutely need to eat it.

I have yet to gain any weight, but I haven’t lost any more either. However, I am already wearing a Belly Band full time, and have been for about a week. My pants still button, but the sensation of the waist band is uncomfortable, so I’m all Belly Band all the time. I’m not showing yet though, so no maternity tops or pants for me yet.

Hubby seems to be getting more excited about the pregnancy. Just tonight, he was asking what we should do with the room that will become our nursery. I’m thinking a forest-to-sea theme, so that we can both have the themes we imagined, but we’ll play with that some more and see what we decide. He has also been super helpful around the house, and even took yesterday off work to clean the house and clean up around the yard.

He still doesn’t like talking too much about the babies, and I think tomorrow night will be difficult for him because it’s my parents 50th wedding anniversary party, and most of those attending already know that we’re expecting. My mom was so excited that she spilled the beans to anyone who asked how I was doing. I’m absolutely fine with everyone knowing, but hubby is going to hate having all the extra attention focused on us. Hopefully it won’t be as bad as he’s expecting, and hopefully if we get our test results tomorrow they will come back clear. I’d hate to have anything hanging over my head on my parents special night.

Well, I took today off to bake and decorate four dozen cupcakes for the party, and I’m exhausted tonight! I’m going to listen to my body and get into bed before 9:00pm. Thank you to everyone for your continued support, I am so grateful for each of you. *hugs*

A Little Wiggle

I’ve fallen a bit behind on my blogging, for no other reason then I was exhausted last week. However, things are still going well.

Last Wednesday hubby and I again got up early to make the 90 minute drive to Dr. A’s office. Once I was in the exam room, Dr. A came in to do my ultrasound. I was pretty glad that he would be doing it, as the last time the PA had difficulty locating Baby B. Well, both babies made themselves instantly visible. Both were measuring 8w6d, which was 3 days ahead of how far along I was. Baby A had a hr of 168, and Baby B’s hr was 171. While we were listening to Baby A’s hr, she gave a little wiggle. The type of movement reminded me of a chrysalis when the butterfly is going to emerge. Seeing that made me grin from ear to ear.

On the drive home, hubby said a few things that made me feel instantly better. I still had the feeling that he wasn’t entirely buying into the pregnancy, since he hasn’t told anyone, but what he said made those fears go away.

  1. He asked that I send him copies of all of the ultrasound photos.
  2. He thinks that we should start making a baby book for each baby. This will include ultrasound photos, and notes about their growth, etc. he emphasized that each baby needs to have his/her own book.
  • Our next steps are to go back for our 10 week ultrasound on Aug 30. At that time we will also do the genetic testing, and will hopefully have the results within a week. After that, on Sept 11 we see a perinatologist for nuchal scan, and then immediately go to Dr. A’s office to review the results. I’m hoping everything is fine because these babies seem to be growing perfectly.
  • I’m feeling pretty ok still. Last week I had a few days of reprieve from the nausea, but that quickly disappeared. I’m back to feeling carsick all day and only being able to eat little bits at a time. I’ve had gluten a few times and more often than not it has settled ok with me, so that opens up some food options. However, I can’t handle food that is garlicky it has a strong flavor. I’ve also been exhausted, and made sure to take naps this past weekend. I did get up at 5:00 am to go to the gym this morning, where I told the instructor and two ladies in class who I like a lot that I am 9 weeks pregnant with twins. That was fun! Also interesting was that it felt…different, whenever I tightened my core. Things are definitely shifting.
  • Oh, one bit of drama did happen today. I’ve unfollowed my dad on FB awhile ago because our views on most things are polar opposites, and I find some of his posts offensive. Every once in awhile I go to his page to like… something, so that he doesn’t know that I don’t see his posts. Well today, I saw that he had posted something about the twins last week!! I immediately asked him to take it down, which he did, claiming that he didn’t know that the information wasn’t public. I told him that it won’t be public until 20 weeks, because that is my cutoff to stop worrying about miscarriage. Sweet that he’s excited, but he needs to wait for the official announcement!
  • So, for now, I and these two little babies I’m carrying inside of me are doing well.
  • Their first picture together

    Let Me Hear Your Heartbeat

    Hubby and I woke up early this morning to make the drive down to our REs office for my 7 week ultrasound. I was feeling optimistic, but a small part of me was still worried that one of the twins would have disappeared. Vanishing twin syndrome is terrifying to think about. We got there early enough to just sit for a few minutes before going up for the ultrasound. We took this time to go over some questions I had for Dr A, since last week I was too much in shock to ask anything.

    The Physicians Assistant did my ultrasound, which was fine. She had no trouble finding Baby A, who was measuring 7w2d, and we got to hear the heartbeat. It really is amazing how soothing 160bpm can sound.

    Then it was time to locate Baby B. It took over 3 minutes, and she had actually sent the tech out to get help from Dr A when she finally located it. During that time I was so scared that Baby B had disappeared, and I can’t explain the utter relief I felt when she located my naughtily little baby. Poor Baby B was either hiding, or being squished by Baby A. Baby B measures 7w1d, and has a heart rate of 144 bpm. I could tell from the ultrasound that Baby Bs heart rate was slower, and the PA was impressed

    Once I was dressed I came out to ask my questions. They actually started talking about genetic testing before I could even ask, which was convenient since it was first on my list. I will come back for another ultrasound a 8 weeks, and then at 10 weeks we will do a blood test, which will test for genetic abnormalities in the twins. We will also get to find out their genders through the test. Then, at week 12, we will go in for Nuchal Fold testing with a perinatologist. After that, we will be released to an OB for the remainder of my pregnancy. I love that I already know all of the appointments for my first trimester.

    I asked about sex (ok, just do an extra dose of progesterone afterward if I’m feeling paranoid), diet (I need to eat more because I lost 4 lbs last week), restrictions on travel (nothing of note). I will continue estradiol and progesterone through 12 weeks, and they will test my levels before telling me to stop. I should ask the perinatologist about when to stop blood thinners.

    The entire week I have been wavering between feeling over the moon, and being completely terrified. I still can’t believe that there are TWO babies growing inside me right now. My symptoms haven’t been debilitating and haven’t changed much in the last week. The nausea has increased a bit, and this makes it difficult to eat. I can’t eat much at all before I feel full and sick- hence the weight loss. I’m going to try adding some high nutrition items to my diet to at least make the most of what I can stomach right now. As much as overweight me loves losing weight fast, I know this is not what is best for my babies.

    I’m also switching up my beauty regime a bit, and trying to use products with more natural ingredients. In addition, I’ve gone back to the gym and am doing yoga 2-3x per week. I want to be healthy for these growing fetuses, and will do all that I can to give them the best chance at life.

    I started using a sleep bra last night, and my boobs are so happy. I’m honestly a little terrified to see how big they’ll get, since I’m already a 40DDD. I’ll never see my toes again! I’ve had trouble staying asleep throughout the night, but adding an extra pillow so that I’m more elevated seems to have helped.

    So, things are good. I can’t wait until next week when I get to see and hear my little miracles again!

    P.s. My guess is that Baby A is a girl because she was so cooperative and her heart rate was higher, and Baby B is my little boy.

    More Than Enough

    I’ve felt so fortunate that my pregnancy symptoms have remained minimal so far. Sore breasts, twinging uterus, and a mildly nauseous, carsick feeling that lasts for most of the day. My appetite is minimal and I find it challenging to eat enough every day. I can’t eat too much or I feel sick, and I can’t eat after 8pm, or I wake up feeling awful in the middle of the night. What I do eat is healthy, whole food with no gluten or dairy, so hopefully that fact, combined with my prenatal vitamin, will be enough for now.

    Hubby and I got up early this morning to drive the 90 minutes to Dr. A’s office for our 8:15am ultrasound. It was a quiet drive, as we were both exhausted, and nervous. I couldn’t wrap my brain around the fact that after all these years, I was carrying a life with a heartbeat in my body. We got to our appointment on time, and if I’m honest, I expected them to tell me that there had been a mistake. When they asked how I’d been feeling, I described my symptoms and said “I sure hope all this is because I’m pregnant.”

    Dr. A had no trouble finding the… BABIES!!!! I’m pregnant with TWINS!!! As he took his measurements, I lay there, holding hubby’s hand, with tears running down into my ears. After everything, I’m not only pregnant, but there are TWO lives inside me right now!

    Baby A is measuring ahead at 6w4d, and Baby B is right on track at 6w2d. I was able to see the flicker of their heartbeats, and for now, that was all Dr. A said matters. I made an appointment for my next ultrasound, which will be in a week. I hope we get to hear the heartbeats (heartBEATS!) next week. I’m happy to report that I can continue to see Dr. A until the end of my first trimester. I asked about genetic testing, and Dr. A said there is testing we can do with twins, so that took care of my biggest concern.

    I must have said “holy crap” 50 times on the drive home. I’m still saying it in my head as I write this. Of course, the more I think about a multiple pregnancy, the more I worry, but I’m going to try to be an optimist for once. I’m going to believe that this will all work out, and in less than 8 months, I’ll be holding my babies.

    Excited!

    I still can’t believe this is happening. I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that I’m pregnant. I went in for another Beta on 7/23, and my HCG was up to 8813. Now, I just have to wait until 7/31 to have an ultrasound. My ultrasound is scheduled for the same day as Harry Potter’s birthday, and I’ve been rereading Harry Potter this summer, so the date can only be a good thing.

    So far I’ve been feeling pretty ok. Boobs are progressively more sensitive, and this is making it uncomfortable to sleep on my stomach. I’ve had a few bouts of diarrhea, but not consistently, and I can’t figure out what is causing the issue. I’ve had slight nausea, basically I feel slightly carsick, but so far it has mostly been in the evenings. I also have to stop eating before I’m full or I don’t feel good. I’m breaking out, but that could be because of the progesterone suppositories. I am definitely more tired than usual if I don’t get at least 8 hours sleep.

    I’m going to miss my RE so much. He and his staff have been absolutely amazing. For instance, I needed to refill my blood thinner, and apparently my insurance will only cover 30 days in a 180 day period. I called the dr office and they said they’d try to get it authorized. The next morning at 8am I get a call that they had, that morning, created an account with my insurance and submitted all the necessary documents, and should be approved in 72 hours. I mentioned that I only had 3 more doses, so this would be cutting things close, but they assured me not to worry. Less than an hour later I get another call from them again; they had gotten on the phone with the insurance company, gotten the medication authorized, and sent everything to the pharmacy. They have gone out of their way for me at every turn, and I am so thankful. It all just amplifies how bad things truly were with Dr. S.

    Hubby and I have been disagreeing because I have told a lot of people that I am pregnant, and he doesn’t think we should be telling anyone. He doesn’t like the attention, even if it’s positive, and he’s afraid if something happens, that we will have to un-tell people. I understand where he’s coming from, but I am so excited and I can’t help but share our good news.

    Trigger Warning: It’s a Droid!

    So, last Thursday, hubby and I were talking about what were going to do while my friend TR is visiting from Minnesota, and I told him that I couldn’t commit to doing anything on Monday, because that was the day of my Beta. Well, he pointed out to me how unfair it was to her if I did this, and I realized he was right. That night, before going to bed, and without telling Hubby, I decided to POAS in the morning.

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    Well, within three minutes of finishing, there was a second line on the test. I knew I wouldn’t be able to just wait until Monday for my Beta, and my RE had offered to have me do a Beta on Friday, so as soon as I could I called the office and asked them to email me the paperwork. Hubby was already gone to work, so I texted KM a pic of the test, and her immediate response was “oh girl, you are pregnant”.

    Since I’d been avoid lifting, my mom was coming over to help me clean for TR’s arrival, so I called her and asked her to postpone her arrival so I could go do blood work. The lab was quick and I was home within 30 minutes, and my mom and I spent the morning cleaning. I told her about the positive test, and she was cautiously optimistic for me, which was how I was feeling myself. Hubby got home about the time we had finished cleaning. I told him about the test, and he was less optimistic because losing Ember was really hard and he can’t let himself get emotional about it all. My mom left, and told me to call her when I got my Beta results. Hubby and I had just laid down for a nap when I got the call.

    My Beta was 92.5!

    I was pregnant, and this was so much more than I ever thought would happen. I told hubby, who was a little excited, but still cautious. I was though the roof- my Beta was good. I tried to nap, but it was impossible. I tried calling my mom, but my dad said she was in the shower. So, I called my friend KT.

    She was shopping at Walmart when she picked up. I told her I was pregnant, and she started crying. In Walmart. She told her kids, who were really excited for me. After that, I was able to nap for awhile. When I woke up I called my mom and told her. I explained the differences between this Beta and Ember (Ember-18, Droid-92.5). Well, apparently I was on speakerphone and my dad was with her, because I hear him say “it could be triplets”. I explained more about Beta’s until he understood that just because this number was higher than my chemical, didn’t mean anything except that this time was more normal.

    That evening I had therapy, and I talked mostly about my positive test, and a few other things. It was perfect timing, really. Then I met my friend JW for dinner. We met by a concert in the park and she was saying that it was really loud and she couldn’t hear anything. I hugged her and said “can you hear me say that I’m pregnant?” She squealed and hugged me tight for about a minute straight.

    I went in for my second Beta today, and it was 439.9, which is a 32 hour doubling period. I’ve been floating since I found that out this afternoon. Well, really since Sunday when I POAS again and the pregnant line showed up before the control line.

    TR has been here since Saturday, and she is actually 18 weeks pregnant, so it has been really fun to have someone to share this with who I’m so close to. It’s nice to have someone else here who is excited, because hubby is only about 10% excited, and my mom says to “not count your chickens just yet.” But, I can’t help it, I’m excited.

    I know that it’s still really early, and that anything could happen. But I also feel that even if I pretend to not be excited, I will still be crushed if something goes wrong. So, I’m going to go with positivity as my little Droid hopefully settles in.

    I haven’t had too many symptoms yet. I have been very aware of my uterus since Wednesday because it has felt… odd- kind of a crampy, twitchy sensation. My boobs are becoming more sore. Yesterday I had gluten for the first time in a few weeks, and I got very sick to my stomach. I’ve also had to pee more. So, there have been symptoms, but nothing too severe this early on.

    My next Beta is on 07/23. I purchased some internet cheapies on Amazon this afternoon, and plan to use those as many mornings as I need to.

    Long story short, for now I am pregnant!!

    FET #4- The BB-8 Transfer

     

    Amazingly, I finally, after 8 months of waiting, had my FET #4 on Friday, July 6. Everything about this transfer was so much easier than it ever was with Dr. S. The medications (just folic acid, baby aspirin, prenatals, Progesterone suppositories, Estrogen, blood thinner, and antibiotics) were so much simper than my previous cycles. By the way, I LOVE doing the suppositories vs. the injections. Now it’s no big deal when hubby has to work a late shift, because I can do everything myself. The new blood thinner has worked like a charm, and I haven’t had any side effects after 3 weeks.

    Leading up to the transfer, the new office made one mistake, which was to not inform me that hubby needed to come to an appointment with me so that we could sign the consents together. They gave me the packet a week before my transfer, and asked that we have the documents notarized when he signed, and faxed back to the office ASAP. Well, my weekend got away from me, and I forgot about the paperwork. They called me on the morning of July 4th and THEY apologized to ME for not telling me that hubby needed to sign the paperwork, and calmly asked me to have everything done by the following afternoon before 4. A similar situation happened with Dr. S, and his office called me and were both furious and panicked that I’d forgotten to do my consents. I cannot express enough the difference between the two offices.

    So, my genetic testing came back and showed that I am a carrier for two things, neither of which is life threatening, but could be an issue if hubby was also a carrier. We did genetic testing on him as well, and he is a carrier of nothing, so we should be fine as far as not passing down any genetic issues to our offspring.

    Oh, also Dr. A had me talk to the lab who would be doing the testing on our embryos. This woman was so nice, and understanding, and sympathetic that we have been trying for a family for almost 7 years. And yet, she talked us out of doing genetic testing. She said that we didn’t have many risk factors, and that she would simply advise waiting until I’m pregnant, and doing testing at that time. I was shocked that she talked us out of it, but the day before our conversation with her we had learned that the testing would cost over $4000, so I may have been more willing to listen.

    On Friday, July 6, hubby and I drove 90 minutes to the Dr. A’s office, to arrive at 7:45am. The surgery center is literally across the hall from his regular office, so we were in the exam room even before my 8:00 transfer time. Dr. A gave me a picture of our two embryos, which had thawed perfectly. Both were graded B, and when I realized that these are the 7th and 8th embryos we’ve ever transferred, I decided to think of this transfer as the BB-8 transfer. I took my Valium, got undressed from the bottom down, and got onto the exam table. Dr. A and his PA came in, found that my bladder was perfect, and my two embies were in my uterus within minutes. This transfer was absolutely pain-free, and I wonder if this was because I’m so relaxed with Dr. A, or whether it was the valium. Whatever it was, it was wonderful.

    Then, Dr. A tells me to treat that day and the next like I have the flu, and to try to relax. Well, I could do that on Friday, but Saturday I had to work. Dr S had always said to just go back to your normal life once you were off the exam table, so i hadn’t prepared to take time off. If we need to do another transfer, I’m definitely planning to take time off. After 20 minutes of lying around watching adorable cat videos, I got off the exam table and we left.

    We had a really enjoyable day. We got a snack at a cafe, went to a Cat Cafe and hung out with some adorable cats, came home and watched Stardust while eating delicious food, and just enjoyed our day together.

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    Saturday I had to work, and of course it was insanely stressful, and this whole week at work has been stressful, which makes me stress out even more because I’m supposed to avoid stress. I’ve also been symptom spotting, but all I’ve noticed is sore breasts (which could be the hormones), and feeling extra emotional, which could likely be the work related stress and hormones working together.

    Yet, I’m feeling optimistic. I’ve been wearing my wishbone necklace this whole time, haven’t had any caffeine, have mostly avoided gluten and dairy, and have been allowing myself to just relax as much as I can when I’m not at work. I’m also avoiding any unnecessary lifting, and am trying to minimize my steps each day. My mom is coming over on Friday to help me clean the house for a few hours. I’m trying to remain optimistic, while also trying to touch back down to the ground so that I can handle a negative test.

    My friend arrives from Minnesota to visit for the week starting on Saturday. I’m so excited to see her! She is over 4 months pregnant, and I am genuinely happy for her. I’ve already warned her that I will be rubbing her belly for luck, because my beta is on Monday. I’m trying to decide if we should plan something fun for Monday, or if it’s safer to stay near home in case I don’t get the news we’ve been hoping for.

    So, fingers, toes, and eyes crossed that our little Droid decides to stick around!

    A Whole Lot, and Not Much At All

    A lot has happened since I last wrote. In late April I had a polyp removed from my uterus. This was done at a surgery center a few miles from my new REs office. The surgery was fine, although I hate waking up from anesthesia! It’s like being inside one of those dreams where you are awake and aware of what is happening, but can’t move. Luckily that abated quickly, and hubby and I were able to drive down to San Diego to see his family for the weekend. We did make one stop, at my favorite tea house for a proper English Tea service.

    Over the next two weeks I made the 90 minute drive to Dr As office three times. Once for a check up after surgery (cervix had healed nicely), once for an ultrasound on CD1, and lastly for a sonohysteriogram to ensure that the polyp was gone, which it was.

    During my CD1 visit, my doctor asked me to pick a transfer date. After having previously always been assigned a date with no say in the matter, I was really excited, and picked a Friday that I already had off work. But then he mentioned starting blood thinners and birth control, and I knew that this wasn’t going to be the way I could do a transfer. My body has never cooperated with what it’s supposed to do on BC, which stresses me out, and the blood thinners, at $25 per day, are too expensive to be on for a month. So, we are doing a natural cycle, with just estrogen, progesterone, and blood thinners for a shorter time. I was a bit disappointed, but am mostly grateful that with Dr A, I have a choice about how I want to do my FET.

    Speaking of the expensive blood thinner, I have the best news! Previously I had my RX filled at a mail order pharmacy, and they got my cost down to $23 per dose. This time I took my RX to Costco, assuming I would pay the same amount. Well, Costco is amazing. I PAID $5 FOR A 30 DAY SUPPLY!!! They told me the cost on a Thursday, but I refused to believe it until I had paid on Monday. I’m now wondering how much I could have saved if I had used them for all my other meds, but it’s ok, I’m just glad I now know to never get my RX filled anywhere else, ever again.

    So, way back before my first IVF, Dr S had run some basic genetic testing, which revealed that I’m a carrier for fragile X. We saw a genetic counselor, who reassured us that this has an almost 0% chance of affecting our offspring. They had some additional tests run on my chromosomes, and it turns out that I have an inversion on my 21st chromosome. I was told that this carries a higher risk of miscarriage, but never told that there was anything we could do about it. To be honest, in all the drama of the last few years, I pushed most of this out of my mind.

    Anyhow, Dr A brought up running some thorough genetic tests on me, so I brought him my records. Since the disease testing done by Dr S was pretty basic, I’ve decided to have the genetic testing done. Well, I’m just really glad that I brought the tests to Dr A, and that he took the time to look them over.

    So, that inversion on my 21st chromosome? He called me and explained that the reason there is an increased risk of miscarriage is because it leads to extra genetic material in the embryos. He suggested genetic testing of the embryos. After thinking it over and talking about it with Hubby, we’re going to have our remaining embryos tested. They will thaw all 5 the day before my FET, do the testing and have the test results rushed, and transfer 2 healthy embryos. The unfortunate thing is that it could turn out that none of the embryos are healthy. Or some of them my not survive the test and refreeze. But, that is a risk I am willing to take to avoid a miscarriage.

    I am PISSED that Dr S told me not to test the embryos after IVF, even when I asked him if we could. Hubby can’t even talk about Dr S without getting furious, and I feel the same way. I am so glad we switched drs!

    So now, I wait for my period (about 2.5 weeks), and then start meds. In the meantime, I’m eating healthy again and cutting out caffeine. If we’re going to the expense of genetic testing, I’m going to do all that I can to make sure my body is healthy to receive these embryos. Wish me luck!!