After my first attempt at FET #4 was cancelled in early December due to the California wildfires, I was really disappointed, but overall was still feeling ok. I attribute this feeling of peace to the fact that I had changed my eating habits leading up to this transfer, and felt great without dairy, gluten, and processed carbs as part of my daily diet. My mental headspace was better than it had been in years, and physically I felt pretty good. Suprisingly, I stuck to my eating plan until Christmas Eve, almost 2 weeks after the devastating news. I had lost 13 pounds in 6 weeks by this point, and was really proud. I’m a complete emotional eater, and the fact that I had avoided falling back on old habits was pretty amazing. However, once I allowed myself to eat “normally” for the holidays, it was over for the next two weeks and I ate whatever I wanted, gaining back much of the weight I had lost.
I’ve been eating healthily since Jan 7 and am only 2 pounds away from where I was before the holidays. It has been really, really challenging this round because things have… not been going easily leading up to this transfer. I want comfort, and food usually makes me feel better. However, I know what I’m feeling is absolutely is warranted, so I’m going to look out for myself and stick to my healthy eating.
Besides, it turns out that I am probably allergic to gluten. Since I was in my mid 20s I’ve had allergies that took the form of itching palms and feet, and hives if I went more than 24 hours without allergy medication. I’ve had allergy tests done, but they only tested for environmental factors. Since I’m allergic to some plants, pollen, and cats, I’ve been getting allergy shots, in addition to my daily dose of Allegra. Right before my cancelled transfer my acupuncturist suggested that I try going off of my allergy medication for the transfer, and mentioned that my symptoms sound like they could be food related. My allergist had never mentioned that this could be a possibility so I had no idea. Sure enough, I went off my allergy meds, and I did not have the symptoms any longer. I never would have connected the dots if it weren’t for my acupuncturist. I haven’t had to take any allergy meds except the days following when I allow myself to eat something containing gluten. It’s been a really good motivator to stay on track.
So, before my first attempt at this FET was cancelled, I had already decided that I was finally done with my RE. I have had so many bad experiences with him, but the next closest dr is 2 hours away, and I can’t imagine driving that far just for an ultrasound. However, when my drs staff threatened to cancel my cycle because they had a schedule change and couldn’t keep my scheduled appointment (they wanted me to come in at at time when I was due to visit 150 children at a school and had just confirmed my visit for the next day), I knew that making the drive would be better than dealing with him or his staff. When my FET was cancelled I was resigned to the fact that I would need to stick it out for one last transfer, even if I didn’t want to.
Luckily, within 3 days of my cancelled transfer I had a new treatment calendar for an FET on January 30 and was able to start my meds again. Since my dr does medicated cycles, there is no need to wait for my body to do anything. It’s pretty weird having everything controlled by medication, and feels pretty unnatural, but if my BC thins my lining as well aunt flo, who am I to complain?
Since I have a clotting disorder I need to be on blood thinners from a few days before my transfer until probably about 28 weeks, if I ever become pregnant. Well, my RE has had me on Heparin and I have had a really bad allergic reaction at the injection site both times, with swelling, redness, heat, hives, and unbelievable itching. I informed my RE about the symptoms after my July transfer, and he said that he wanted to put me on a new blood thinner. He did not change my medication for December, so I figured he must have felt that I would be ok trying the medication again. I had the same reaction, and so I let him know that I thought I needed to be put on a different medication.
He looked into it, and it turns out most blood thinners are just different forms of the same medication. Rather than risk that I would have the same reaction to a different form of the same thing, he is putting me on something entirely different. A blood thinner that cost $25 per day!!!!!!!!!! I naturally completely freaked out when I found out how expensive this medication is going to be, but my RE says it’s the only option he is comfortable with for me because repeat exposure to Heparin can worsen symptoms. He is optimistic that insurance will cover this medication once I’m pregnant, because at that point it is for the health of the pregnancy, and not for infertility treatment.
I’ve been frustrated though, because the pharmacy he is ordering this through and his office do not seem to be able to communicate. I need to start this medication on Jan 25, and the pharmacy says they have not yet received dosing information from his office, although his office says they have called it in. I’m starting to get nervous that this pattern will continue, and I will reach Jan 25 without the expensive-as-hell medication in hand.
Oh, and another cherry on top of an awesome FET prep… my RE recently moved office so he could make his old space into an embryo lab. Great right?! I don’t have to drive 2 hours for my transfer. His office is supposed to get the embryo lab in Santa Barbara to send me release forms so the embryos can be sent to his lab. But, it’s been 4 days and I still haven’t received anything. The timing of this change is terrible though. I can’t help but think if they had only started doing transfers out of his office last month, they wouldn’t have had to cancel my cycle. Also, if this transfer is unsuccessful and I want to see a new Dr, I will have to have my REs office send the embryos back to Santa Barbara. It’s never easy is it?
Despite these MAJOR frustrations, I’m holding it together pretty well. Yes, I feel like throwing something, but I’ve kept my cool and haven’t even cried (although I did come close when my mom called tonight). I know that there is nothing to do but be patient and hope that this time will finally be successful.